The interwebz has raised some doubts about a new Channel 4 tv programme called, “The Joy of Teen Sex.” Critics are saying that the show takes away the option of saying no to sex, by claiming things such as, “By the time the average UK teen hits the age of consent (16 in the UK) he or she has had 6 different sexual partners.”
Since I’m really not someone who will turn down watching tv about sexual education and because I don’t believe in always blindly following what people are saying without having seen it myself, I sat down to watch it.
The first thing that startled me was how stupid teenagers seem to be. Don’t get me wrong I understand that it may be hard to get sexual education at the moment and that I may just be the wrong person to take as the norm, because I’ve always found it fascinating. The programme features a girl who refuses every type of contraception offered to her while still sleeping around, a girl who believes she’s immune to catching a sexually transmitted disease.
(I hear we’re calling them sexually transmitted infections these days. Why, is that less of a stigma?)
The show definitely tries to be inclusive to different sexualities by featuring a gay boy (who works as a drag queen) and a gay girl. However, the advice that they both receive from the “Team of Sexperts” seems to be rather heteronormative. The gay boy comes to the “Sex Advice Shop,” because he has a fear of anal sex and it’s keeping him from partaking in any sexual activities. He himself says that at 20 this is reducing his quality of life.
The Team speaks frankly about how anal sex is likely to hurt a little and encourages him to try experimenting on himself first. They’re blunt about the need for lubrication and how “anal sex is a slow process.” So far, so good, right? Yea, that’s all amazing and great, but what bothers me is that anal sex seems to be displayed as the only thing two men can do in bed together. I’m not a gay man, I can’t say I’ve talked to too many gay men about sex, but I can’t believe that that’s all there is. Is this another one of those things where the heterosexual world only has a certain kind of sex in their head?
After the boy’s segment there’s a quick message to make sure that teens understand that you shouldn’t let anyone pressure you into anything and that safe(-r) sex comes first.
(I’ll get off my gay man soap box now, because sooner or later someone will yell at me for not being qualified to talk about this since I a) do not have a penis and b) do not have all that many gay man friends.)
The lesbian comes in to ask about some things that girls could do in bed together, because her sex life has been largely with her on the receiving end and involved a lot of roleplay etc.
What’s the first sex position shown to her? You guessed it, scissoring. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’d say scissoring is a rare endangered animal. It’s a porn thing, isn’t it? It’s usually quite acrobatic and doesn’t quite get anyone off. There’s also no elaboration on the fact that scissoring is one kind of position in the wide spectrum of tribadism (quite the ugly word if you ask me and I don’t blame word’s spell check for underlining it).
Next up is 69. Fair enough, don’t have too many objections to that as I think that’s a lot more common in most people’s sex life than scissoring, but I think a lot of the time 69 is added to produce a certain type of pop culture shock value. 69 is that thing we were giggling about in 6th grade. It’s everywhere. People clothing, children’s clothing, and 1969 is often times regarded as THE year of the sexual revolution (a lot of the people that were part of it will tell you it was actually all about 1965).
We come to the third and final image. A girl hovering her body over another girl’s mouth and being eaten out. First off, hot. Second off, yummmmm… Thank you, Joy of Teen Sex, you provided me with soft core porn that’s definitely more hot and more realistic looking than youporn. I appreciate that. A lot. No objections, because it was hot.
That’s it. That’s the most common sexual positions for lesbians according to the Sexperts. (Don’t get too pissed, darlings, L and I still fight about what the ultimate lesbo sex act may be) Technically I don’t like that type of thinking. I don’t like boxes, I don’t even like that vaginal intercourse is regarded THE number one sex act for heterosexual couples, because I see that view as quite limiting. But maybe that’s just me. I think society as a whole disagrees with me on that.
The programme goes on to feature the most common lesbian sex aid according to straight people. Strap on galore! I just did a post on penetration, didn’t it? Was that post about how many gay women honestly don’t want to be penetrated? Yes, yes, indeed. It’s not that strap on sex itself bothers me (Quite the contrary, just ask L), but once again it’s those boxes. Women need a dick to fuck (Pardon my French). The young lesbot, that really hasn’t had all that much sexual experience isn’t told to enjoy her partner’s body and get to know it…no, she’s told to bring in the silicone. That’s just a bit SDRAWKCAB (backwards) to me.
All in all, “The Joy of Teen Sex,” doesn’t seem all that joyful to me. Is the title of the programme meant to be ironic? Is that the famous English Humour? Yes, there are STDs, yes, we do need to be educated, yes, we do need to be safe. BUT is all that taking away from the joyful experience? Teenagers nowadays don’t seem to be having any sort of fun with sex. It’s one big mass of pleasing peers.
It’s not that promiscuity bothers me. As I’ve said before, I wish I could be the type of person who could exist in an open relationship, because in theory it seems like the ideal way of living to me. However, I’m far too possessive and far too eager to feel somewhat possessed to live like that. What bothers me is having sex to please others. I wish these types of programmes would be more focused on teaching teenagers a positive, self-respecting view on sexuality rather than focusing on technique.
However, it’s definitely something that’s a bit of a laugh to sit down to. And hey, who knows, maybe it’ll even open up communication about certain sensitive issues with your partner.
- Not so joyful…
Happy viewing, everyone!
p.s. It was lovely to see how our dear gay boy chose not to run off and have sex just because he overcame his fears. 🙂